Ken Dodd

by Declan IOM

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This is my Poem for the 2021 Manx Litfest Poetry Slam.

I didn't win but I was Discumknockerated by the positive feedback.

lyrics

Ken Dodd

At the Walker
Art Gallery, Liverpool
I spy a bust
Of Albert Einstein
Sculpted by
Jacob Epstein
In 1933.

Two years later
Me Dad was born
Across the water
In spright
Port Sunlight
Einstein was in England
At the time
Fleeing the Nazis
Whose bombs
Sent Me Dad,
Aged five,
To Abersoch
An evacuee

NO PHOTOS ALLOWED

…Museum Rules
I pencil sketch
Albert’s likeness
To catch
His Intense intelligence
& Mischievous
Humanity

I fail

I’m no good at Art
In 3rd Year
I Scored 10%
Mostly out of pity
The Teacher said

…But I should let that go…
She’s probably dead now.

Around that time
In this very hall
My sister received
Two encores
For Robo Dancing
To electro-pop
A feat I’ve waited
40 years to top

The Bee Gees stride
On Douglas Prom
You can tell by the way
They use their walk
So Confident, & Strong
They didn’t stay in
Douglas long
In Amber Street light
Of fevered Saturday Night
They sport traffic cones
And become wizards
COVID masks added
So they’ll be
Ah Ah Ah
Staying Alive…Staying Alive…
Except for the one that’s dead
Of course…
…Or is it two?

It must be tough
To be the subject
Of a public sculpt
Before you’ve shuffled off
This Earthly Crust

In Barnsley
West York’s
Stands a statue
Of Dickie Bird
Cricket ump
Finger up
Batsman Out

On Sunday morns
Early birds spot
Dickie cleaning up
Rubber gloved
Condoms plucked
From decision finger
In disgust

I hope he won’t outlive
His fame
And see himself
Shunted off
To a parking lot
To make room
For a statue of
A modern
Member of Barnsley’s
Great & Good
Like Parky, Kes
Or the singer Yungblud

There’s an electric shock
Of startled hair
On my sketch
Of Epstein’s Einstein -
“Looks like Ken Dodd”
My inner critic sneers
“Well he did
Didn’t he”
“What?”
“Einstein- looked
A bit like
Ken Dodd”
“Did he?”
“No Doddy”

It’s an old joke
Of me Dad’s
Summit ‘bout
Ken Dodd’s Dad’s
Dog dying

Since he died
My inner critic
Has his voice

(That’s me Dad,
Not Ken Dodd’s
Dad’s Dead Dog)

Around the corner
At Liverpool Lime
Street Station
There’s a statue
Of Doddy
I make a sketch
My inner critic
Laughs
“Who’s that?
Einstein with
A tickling stick?”

credits

released November 14, 2021
Words and "music" and production by me.

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Declan IOM Isle Of Man, Isle of Man

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